Moon kitteh

Apparently, we were promised the moon and we got LOLCATS instead.

I say, WE CAN HAZ BOTH.

Food television FAIL

Last night we made the mistake of watching Food Investigators on SBS. I should have *known* it was going to shit me to tears, with inaccurate scare-mongering about saturated fats being TEH EVILS and etc, but little did I realise just how inane and stupid it would actually be. Among other things, the story on preservatives in wine was completely inaccurate - they said it's not possible to get preservative-free wines.

Um, yes, it is. As even doing a google search would have showed you, you pack of airheaded dolts.

Here's a red. Here's a white. Another white - and at less than $12.50 a bottle it's not too exxy either. Here's a whole freaking website.

Srsly, don't you people have researchers??? Are their googling fingers broken?

Also, your piece about hamburgers was crap. Like we needed a reporter to tell us McDonalds burgers are higher in fat than home-made. Sheesh.

Having an organisational moment

I have lodged my tax return, called the electrician, and am on the phone to Vodafone to sort out why they are trying to charge me approx $1 million for internet when it is supposed to be included. They have me on hold.

And can we talk about how fucking annoying their stupid voice recognition system is. I do not want to hear some disembodied voice tell me shit about plans. I want to talk to a hooman.

Only the hooman turns out to be as useless as the disembodied voice. Sigh.

Having another house moment

Having regretfully decided that painting the ceiling in my living room to look like this* is probably not an option because (a) I am a talentless hack and (b) I can't afford the gold leaf, I am back to planning slightly less exotic things for my apartment.

On Saturday after taking Casper to the farmers' market in Caulfield (where he sat looking super-cute in front of the bacon stall until the stall holder gave him bacon, and where we saw two other pugs - I swear pugs can tell other pugs are like them, they get twice as excited by a pug as by any other dog) and dutifully visiting my grandmother, I put together my new Billy bookshelf and then put all my DVDs in it, in alphabetical order (I lead an exciting life, let me tell you). So now one small corner of the living room looks... neatish. Then, in a moment of enthusiasm, I (a) emailed my PU#2 to aks him if he had the electrician's phone number handy (I bought a new light for the hall, oh, approx two years ago, it's sitting in the spare "bedroom", along with the towel rail for the bathroom, about a million bags of fabric scraps, wool, etc, and all the pictures we still haven't got around to hanging up. Hey, we've only been living here two years) and (b) aksed everyone I know on facebook whether anyone knows where I can get doorknobs, and quite surprisingly, someone turns out to be able to help.

See, social networking = useful for more than just bragging about my uni marks/Bejeweled Blitz high score.

Anyhoo, I am now extra inspired and looking at paint on the Porters Paints website. I am totally going to paint the doors upstairs silver, and the corridor purple (and by paint, I mean "call the handyman") and it will look shiny. Although not quite as shiny as the hall of mirrors.

*This being the ceiling in the hall of mirrors at Versailles, where I took the photo.

I'm not sitting here waiting for lunch

I'm actually wishing I could go home and start assembling some Ikea furniture, sew some new cushion covers, vacuum the lounge room (when I pointed out to Hugo that the carpet was covered in pug and Meezy hair, he looked at me in a mystified fashion and said "But we don't own a vacuum cleaner". Oh Boris, how soon you are forgotten) (we *do* own a vacuum cleaner, btw, it's just that with polished floorboards in the whole house it doesn't get used very often as there's a magical contraption called a broom that we use instead) (and by we, I mean Hugo).

Where was I?

Oh yes, I wish to make my living room pretty. Also, I need a coffee, stat. And I'm no longer sitting here waiting for lunch as I went and et it. That is all.